You see security guards everywhere in Beijing. There are lots of them, and they guard all sorts of unlikely things. Parking lots will usually have at least a couple of security guards. Each floor of my workplace has security guards, and there are security guards in the lobby as well. There is a bank in the lobby of the building where the office is located, and it has several security guards as well; these wear hard helmets and carry evil-looking spiky metal stun batons (most security guards are unarmed). Even ATMs have security guards; they are dressed the same as bank security guards.

All of these security guards–and believe me, they are everywhere you could possibly imagine and plenty of places you wouldn’t expect – means some pretty dull shifts. It’s not a well-respected profession, the pay is only 1300 yuan per month to start (a little under $200), and let’s face it, there’s just not a lot that happens at the back entrance of an office building or the inside lobby of an apartment building at 11pm.

Some security guards pass the time by reading or studying. It’s very common that they’re sucked into their mobile phone, texting away with friends on the QQ chat service. Some listen to music; many mobile phones here have FM radios so they tune in and listen over  the speaker (or download music and play it with the built-in MP3 player). Headphones don’t seem to have caught on here. By the way, it’s relatively commonplace for security  guards to have what we’d consider high-end phones in the US, even though they’re paid very poorly. This is the case with virtually every young person in China; young Chinese consumers don’t have much money, but when they spend it they like to buy high-end electronics.

Other security guards–maybe the ones without mobile phones–spend their time asleep on the job. Countless times I’ve walked past a conked-out security guard, snoring away, drool running out of the side of his mouth (security guards are nearly always male, although any security job that involves operating an X-ray machine seems to attract women). They always seem to wake up when I start to take a picture, though, having the sixth sense to avoid getting caught.

I walked by the parking booth one evening and noticed the windows fogged up. Just as I started to walk past, the door opened suddenly to reveal a security guard and his girlfriend rearranging their clothing. They gave me a sheepish look as I walked past, me with a knowing grin and a nod. I suppose that’s one way to pass the time, particularly in the crowded living situations that many workers here find themselves.

So, the next time you’re in Beijing and don’t mind being deported, give the security guards something to do. It’ll be the highlight of their month, if not their year.